(WARNING!!! This post should be read with a sense of humor... so if you're missing that... DON'T read this!)
It was 1 a.m. & I blinked my eyes as I looked at the gruesome crime scene before me. All I can say is that I hope Mr. Potato Head didn't suffer long. This type of senseless crime in such a good neighborhood is unspeakable! To steal a line (or some derivative of it) from The Godfather I think I was given an offer I can't refuse... You see I was crawling into bed last night where I found a Mr. Potato Head, a handful of his "parts", a half eaten apple, & something that resembled crushed apple jacks. This was the type of scene that I would have remembered if it were there when I got out of bed that morning... So this "incident" had to have happened at some point during the day.... when my head was turned...
As with most of the stories I share about my dear little Dinner Roll, I rarely see the events as they happen, only the effects. This isn't to say that I'm not watching him, because trust me! I DO!
All I can say about this child is that he is quick and crafty. I'm pretty sure my mom can testify to that fact since Dinner Roll pooped in the front yard and all she did was turn around for a second. Anyway, I digress....
As I was standing there at 1 a.m. contemplating whether I should change the sheets or try to wipe the apple jack dust out of my bed I was reminded of a time in college where I played a practical joke on a friend. It was a simple joke... I crumbled a pack of crackers in her bed. She got back to her room after working a double and was extremely mad at me (go figure!). Truth be told I still giggle at the memory, but I'm beginning to realize that maybe Dinner Roll is a "mini me"? While his antics aren't that well thought out I can see he's practicing for future performances... or maybe he really was giving me an offer I can't refuse?? If this is the case, I think I'm in trouble... at any rate... I ended up changing the sheets... apple jack dust is way worse than crumbled crackers, maybe...
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
My Sweet Cast of Characters...
Suffice it to say that I am surrounded by a strange and wonderful cast of characters. They fill my life with so many funny stories that I can't help but want to share them... so here they are the ones that I laugh with, cry over, and live every second of every day for....
The Entree: OK it's just my warped sense of humor... he's really an entrepreneur. Most recently he's started a hauling company where he... well.. hauls.. stuff. Don't ask me for the details, I really couldn't tell you what gets hauled... and he is also the owner of Home Carbonation, Inc. a quirky little company that installs soda fountains and beer taps in high end homes... go ahead, say it.... "That's cool!"... When he's not working (ha ha haaa ahhhaahhaaa ha ha aahahhhaaaa haaa! Sorry, I had to laugh at that), When he's not working he's a pretty cool Daddy and a loving husband.
The Sweet Roll: He's my oldest and other than his phobia of all things disgusting, he has the most potential to go into a line of work that is highly noble, yet strangely underpaid, like a missionary doctor or a crossing guard. He is 6 and simply the sweetest boy you will ever come across. He's always smiling and he's so politically correct it makes me pause and wonder where he got that from... clearly, that's not my forte so he must have gotten that from his daddy... well... maybe it's the sort of thing that skips a generation.. or two? Anyway, I once asked him which of his teachers was his favorite teacher... his response? "I like them both equally"... he's such a sweet heart...
Funny Quotes from Sweet Roll:
After handing him a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast one morning he looks at it for a long moment then looked up at me, pointed to the bowl and said "Boogers?"
Just recently one night for dinner I served creamed corn as a side dish... Sweet Roll looks at and says "Mommy? What IS this?" I said "It's creamed corn." he replies "oh... um... it kinda looks like snot."
see a pattern developing with this one??? He's a "gross-a-phobe"
The Dinner Roll: Well, what can I say about this child? He's the one that my older son has failed to train me for... he's 3 going on 30 and honestly he could not get much more opposite than his older brother. He's head strong, loud, and bold. If there is trouble, he finds it! This is the child from which I've received inspiration for this blog. So many people have said that I need to write a book about him and his antics. I don't think that I'm up for a book, nor do I think anyone would read it, but I can keep a blog. I know what you're thinking, "Oh he can't be THAT mischievous?" PROOF: As I was typing this (sitting at the same table as me) he used pancake syrup as a body lotion... sigh... sadly this isn't the first time, but at least he smells good!
I was recently talking with my mother and told her that I am almost embarrassed to admit how much trouble Dinner Roll can find in a such short amount of time... She (like a lot of mothers) thought that maybe, just maybe, I was exaggerating. Shortly after that exchange with her, she babysat the boys for a few hours so I could run some errands. I came back and she reluctantly admitted that "Yes, yes indeed, he gets in trouble quickly" You see while they were playing in the front yard, Dinner Roll decided to drop his pants and pee... she thought it was mildly funny, because after all "Boys will be Boys!"... she turned around to talk to Sweet Roll and when she turned back around to check on Dinner Roll he was squatting like a dog, pooping in our front yard!
Welcome to my sweet cast of characters. I hope, if for no other reason that we can make you smile...
The Entree: OK it's just my warped sense of humor... he's really an entrepreneur. Most recently he's started a hauling company where he... well.. hauls.. stuff. Don't ask me for the details, I really couldn't tell you what gets hauled... and he is also the owner of Home Carbonation, Inc. a quirky little company that installs soda fountains and beer taps in high end homes... go ahead, say it.... "That's cool!"... When he's not working (ha ha haaa ahhhaahhaaa ha ha aahahhhaaaa haaa! Sorry, I had to laugh at that), When he's not working he's a pretty cool Daddy and a loving husband.
The Sweet Roll: He's my oldest and other than his phobia of all things disgusting, he has the most potential to go into a line of work that is highly noble, yet strangely underpaid, like a missionary doctor or a crossing guard. He is 6 and simply the sweetest boy you will ever come across. He's always smiling and he's so politically correct it makes me pause and wonder where he got that from... clearly, that's not my forte so he must have gotten that from his daddy... well... maybe it's the sort of thing that skips a generation.. or two? Anyway, I once asked him which of his teachers was his favorite teacher... his response? "I like them both equally"... he's such a sweet heart...
Funny Quotes from Sweet Roll:
After handing him a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast one morning he looks at it for a long moment then looked up at me, pointed to the bowl and said "Boogers?"
Just recently one night for dinner I served creamed corn as a side dish... Sweet Roll looks at and says "Mommy? What IS this?" I said "It's creamed corn." he replies "oh... um... it kinda looks like snot."
see a pattern developing with this one??? He's a "gross-a-phobe"
The Dinner Roll: Well, what can I say about this child? He's the one that my older son has failed to train me for... he's 3 going on 30 and honestly he could not get much more opposite than his older brother. He's head strong, loud, and bold. If there is trouble, he finds it! This is the child from which I've received inspiration for this blog. So many people have said that I need to write a book about him and his antics. I don't think that I'm up for a book, nor do I think anyone would read it, but I can keep a blog. I know what you're thinking, "Oh he can't be THAT mischievous?" PROOF: As I was typing this (sitting at the same table as me) he used pancake syrup as a body lotion... sigh... sadly this isn't the first time, but at least he smells good!
I was recently talking with my mother and told her that I am almost embarrassed to admit how much trouble Dinner Roll can find in a such short amount of time... She (like a lot of mothers) thought that maybe, just maybe, I was exaggerating. Shortly after that exchange with her, she babysat the boys for a few hours so I could run some errands. I came back and she reluctantly admitted that "Yes, yes indeed, he gets in trouble quickly" You see while they were playing in the front yard, Dinner Roll decided to drop his pants and pee... she thought it was mildly funny, because after all "Boys will be Boys!"... she turned around to talk to Sweet Roll and when she turned back around to check on Dinner Roll he was squatting like a dog, pooping in our front yard!
Welcome to my sweet cast of characters. I hope, if for no other reason that we can make you smile...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)